No More Hiding The Rape Victim Behind Closed Doors, Please

portrait photo of woman in red top holding out her hand in stop rape gesture

We recently saw an alarming number of news reports involving rape. Was this due to the media’s renewed interest in reporting on these crimes? Or an actual increase in the number of these crimes? We do not know. It all started with reports of the alleged rape victim from Hathras succumbing to her injuries.

Again, we do not yet know for sure if the Hathras incident involved rape or if it was only a murder. As in every other case these days, the CBI will perhaps tell us the truth in some time.

Anyway, the one fact we do know is that rape is condemnable. It shakes our collective conscience. Still, it happens all the time.

Government’s Role in Preventing Rape

After the Nirbhaya gang-rape, we were determined to end rape culture. We amended laws on crimes against women. We made them stricter. And we fast-tracked procedures.

But rape hasn’t stopped. Clearly, we are doing something wrong, or we are not doing something that needs to be done. Yes, we need more police personnel to patrol the streets. We also need to sensitize our police about handling gender-related crimes. We need to further speed up the judicial process of conviction and sentencing. And we need to do this without compromising on due process. These are things we ask and expect of our governments. 

But there also are things we need to do as a society to stop rape culture. 

What We Can Do to Prevent Another Woman From Becoming a Rape Victim

The number of ‘gang rapes’ which happen in our country is pretty large. It suggests that many men find peer support for committing such crimes. So as a society, we need to target the common beliefs which make finding such support possible.

1. Changing the male mindset

Let’s start by teaching our men and boys early on about laws criminalizing sexual assaults. Talk to them openly about gender equality and the need for sexual consent.

Let’s end the narrative that our ‘Mataayen, Behenen’ need safety. Instead, tell the men that a woman does not need to look, dress, or behave only like a ‘Mata’ or ‘Behen’ to deserve respect. Teach men that like them, women too should have the freedom to be without worrying about their safety. Even if men think that a woman is ‘asking for it’ by dressing up in a certain way, they cannot force it on the woman. They need to ask back to confirm. And hear it if she says ‘no’.

By being men, they do not get the entitlement to punish women for supposed ‘misbehaviours’. There are laws for dealing with what is considered misbehaviour under our Constitution. There also is a constitutional process for making new laws. Men should know that they are not above the law. And they should learn that women are not inferior to them in the eyes of law.

Let’s re-teach our men. Let’s nip toxic masculinity in the bud.

2. Changing the female mindset about the rape victim

Rapists rely upon the belief that women won’t report the crime due to the shame and stigma associated with it. Their power over women is not so much physical as in the mind. We must take that power away. 

Why should a woman’s or her family’s honour only be tied to her virginity or chastity? How many times have we heard of a man finding it difficult to get married because he was sexually assaulted? Why should an unfortunate incident like rape bring a woman’s social life to a halt, or push her to kill herself? Rape already causes trauma to the psyche and body of the woman. Why add shame and stigma to the scenario?

Let’s emphasize to women that an act of rape is a crime committed by someone on them. Women cannot and should not be punished or blamed for it in any manner.

Protectionist law

In this context, I find the law for protecting the identity of a rape victim, troublesome. Because it helps perpetuate the mentality that there is shame in being a victim of rape.

But the Supreme Court of India in its wisdom has made the protection absolute for now. The Court noted the following reasons, among others, for its decision:

A victim of rape will face hostile discrimination and social ostracisation in society. Such victim will find it difficult to get a job, will find it difficult to get married and will also find it difficult to get integrated in society like a normal human being.

I can’t deny that this may be a reality for many women. But what if Indian women as a whole refused to shame other women or feel shamed if raped? Could the stigma still continue to be a reality?

And what if we were to turn this reality on its head? What if the rapist and not the rape victim had to face the stigma? Let the rapists lose respect in society. Don’t give them jobs. Take your business back from them. Don’t marry your girls to them. Boycott the rapists. But not based on a media trial. Let’s show patience for courts to convict them.

Empowerment Is Key

Let’s also teach our women self-defense techniques. It makes women more confident in their ability to ward off assaults by men. It has even proven effective in reducing assaults in certain situations.

We must move on from shielding our women- before or after rape. Because we end up shutting them out at every step. Let’s instead empower them to claim their own rights.

symbol of women empowerment
Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

The Government Can Do More

Although the change we seek here is societal, we can’t only rely on society for bringing about this change. The Government must again partake of it. 

For instance, the Government should suitably change school/college curriculum to include lectures on moral science and law, besides sex education.

The Government has already initiated a scheme for self-defense training in schools. CBSE too had issued directives to affiliated schools in this regard. This training should also be made mandatory for women across other walks of life.

Government should create a database of sex offenders and make it public. A conviction for any sex offence should disqualify one from all benefits possible. 

Lastly, PM Modi can start his next public campaign after Swachh Bharat and name it ‘Surakshit Bharat’. He will be able to carry the message deep into the hinterlands with his popularity and outreach. Indian women will thank him. And perhaps vote for him too.

4 thoughts on “No More Hiding The Rape Victim Behind Closed Doors, Please

  1. Repetitive messaging like do boond zindagi ki might help a larger population that already has a bit of moral conscience. It might make them more sensitive towards the crime and its aftermaths helping them to curb that irrestible urge of overpowering a ‘weaker’ person. But the actual problem lies with that section of people who have no conscience at all! Even after committing a crime who feel no remorse or have no understanding of their odious character. Who feel that it is their right to do so because they can do so. No doubt, putting good governance in place is a must but we as a society need something more. May be a slap on every wrong doing as a child or a good solid upbringing that will pull you out of the abyss when the devil calls. And yet again, the start has to be made by the mother or sister or daughter or a female friend. If SHE has the ability to create, only SHE has the ability to control the created. Chuppi aur mooh, dono todo! And hope for a world where ‘she’ supports a ‘she’ ❤️
    Keep writing 👍👍👍

    1. I think the lack of conscience/understanding/remorse flows from one common source- the lack of right education. Doesn’t really matter whether you impart this education through a school, through a public campaign or through the family. But someone just has to say the truth to those who haven’t yet heard it. That women are equals.

  2. Nice thoughts.
    But I have slightly different take on this topic. It might be contradictory to some of ur points, so don’t mind😃.
    Gender might not be the real factor behind rapes. If we try to really pin down the cause it would be – Strong prey on the weak. Its a human tendency. Many anthropologist have described that male and female both have tendency of exert power in the area they feel they are strong. Even women tries to dominate in emotional and communication area where they are better.
    Men feel physically they are strong thus generally they try to exert their strength on women and not on men. But they are often reluctant to exert strength on strong women. They will never rape a lady Sarpanch, strong headed bold women or women passing a busy street. They try to overpower minors, girls walking on deserted street, women alone in house/room etc.

    So as a society we have improve and should not exploit weak/vulnerable person.
    We have to teach boys/men that women’s choice/feelings are more important than your sudden sex drive.
    And women should develop strong character, even learning self defence is also good to intimidate men that its better you don’t mess with us.
    Police should follow Kerala police model of social policing and making community warriors who ensures there colony is safe from predators.

    1. I don’t think you have said anything really contrary to the post. You are talking about strong women. I am calling them empowered. Same difference.

      And even if you had contrary opinions, they are welcome 🙂 Debating these issues can only raise awareness.

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