I perhaps surprised you with my last post being an old poem in Hindi-Urdu. Yet, I disclaim all credit and criticism for the surprise. The reason for a change in the pattern was that I had finally hit the ‘writer’s block’ (I am full of self-importance while saying this!). But the reason for the block itself was that my depression had worsened in the last week (it still counts as writer’s block, okay!). My psychiatrist had to tweak my treatment. Thankfully, things now seem to be back on track. And so, predictably enough, this time I talk about mental health issues.
I have been undergoing treatment for moderate anxiety and depression for a while now. If you read my last post, it may now be obvious that it was a product of my teenage depression only. I know none of that makes me an expert on mental health. But it does give me a window into the mind of someone else who may be suffering from mental problems. And it helps me see why mentally well people rarely understand this illness.
What Happens When One Gets Mentally Unwell?
A mental illness is a double whammy. In fact, a triple or even greater whammy, for that matter. Consider this:
Many factors can cause mental illness. My psychiatrist tells me that the factors may be biological (for example, a chemical imbalance in the brain, or genes), psychological (certain types of personalities), or social (a divorce, financial problems, bereavement, etc.). Like many other diseases, mental illnesses too may disrupt normal life and functioning. During such an ailment, a person’s thoughts can get twisted. These thoughts may be about themselves, others, or life in general. As such, one may not even be capable of helping oneself out of such illness.
To top it, other people don’t usually ‘see’ the illness either, as there are no unique or typical physical symptoms. No one generally relates effects like insomnia or fatigue back to mental health problems.
Then There’s The Stigma
It is common knowledge that there is a huge stigma around mental health issues in our society. A person may become the object of jokes for becoming mentally ill. Or other people may end up seeing such a person as ‘weak’, ‘stupid’, ‘difficult’, or ‘aloof’. When instead they should see him/her as suffering from an ailment.
For this reason, many sufferers and their families prefer to conceal or deny their illness. They avoid seeking treatment. They would rather suffer in silence or consult friends and family. Or at best, they may try approaches like meditation, yoga, etc. These alternatives may work for some. But without professional treatment, severe cases may worsen to the point of suicide. As in the case of Sushant Singh Rajput, perhaps.
Even when the person is gone, the family finds it hard to accept the possibility of mental illness. Because that was never ‘seen’. People around are likely to find other reasons for the step taken by the person. But they still won’t talk about the mental health of the deceased.
So now the tragedy plays out elsewhere. We have seen it happen many times.
How Can We Break The Stigma And Prevent The Next Tragedy?
Role of people like me
Firstly, people who experience mental illness can help by making it ‘visible’. If people like me talk about it openly, it may become relatable for others. And they may also come to see that mental health troubles can happen to just about anyone. One doesn’t need to be under any extreme stress for being afflicted with mental illness.
But I know that it isn’t easy to talk about having experienced mental health issues. Neither is it easy to suggest to someone, or about someone, that they may be suffering from a mental illness. Deepika Padukone’s experience is an example. She sought to talk about the ‘curability’ of depression in the aftermath of Sushant’s death. But she was accused of having defamed him as if mental illness was a character flaw. She was also accused of seeking sympathy by talking about her own episode of depression.
Still, the conversation around mental health is imperative. And effective too. When I told my friends and family about having depression, most of them reacted with surprise. They could not fathom how I could have had these issues while appearing ‘well enough’ on the outside. Anyway, I did discuss my experience in detail. Soon, some of them were asking me for the contact of my psychiatrist. They had now identified someone else around them in need of the treatment.
The Professional’s Responsibility To Talk About Mental Health
Most of my friends and family were also worried about the possible side effects of my medication. I too got concerned and approached my psychiatrist again. He assured me that he had prescribed some of the safest medicines to me. They were not habit-forming, nor had any intolerable side effects.
This is where doctors and mental health professionals can help break the stigma including against treatment. They have the authority and the knowledge to talk. They must raise awareness about mental illnesses. Sometimes, maybe in the way VIMHANS did. VIMHANS is one of the premier mental health institutions in India. They corrected Kangana Ranaut publicly, on Twitter, when she attributed Deepika Padukone’s depression to her alleged drug abuse.
How Mentally Well People Can Encourage Talk About Mental Health
Finally, we can all help in breaking the stigma by displaying a little more sensitivity to the topic. We don’t make fun of people with cancer. Maybe we can do without finding humour in mental illnesses too. Maybe our film industry can make movies without caricaturing mental health problems. We need to talk about mental illness with sympathy rather than ridicule. We need to stop looking at it as a sign of personal weakness. And instead, we need to start talking about the acceptance of mental illness as an act of courage. It is nothing less.
Will I Survive Talking About My Mental Health Though?
My husband is still concerned about me publishing this post. He worries about me facing the onslaught of the stigma. I want to tell him that he need not. And that times are changing. Can I say that to him?
Offcourse….. very well articulated….. thought provoking indeed…..Pls keep writing….God bless you always….
Thanks Pooja!
मेरा ये मानना हैं कि जो भी अपनी और समाज की विषमताओं को पहचाते हुए उससे समाज को अवगत कराता है और समाज को जागरुक करता है उसका मस्तिष्क कभी भी आम नहीं हो सकता वो खास ही होगा तो अपने खास मस्तिष को ऐसे ही समाज को जागरूक करने के लिए अपनी कलम की सहायता करते रहे mean to say keep writing 👍
आपके शब्दों की गहराई के लिए मेरे पास शब्द नहीं हैं! बहुत धन्यवाद। लिखना तो आपको भी चाहिए!
How do we get to know that we need medical help as I guess in today’s hectic lifestyle & all because of our surrounding conditions we all have to go through such phase.
I have felt the same difference in me after my child’s birth but as I was aware of the term postpartum depression & have read about it so knew all the reasons behind that particular state of my mental health..
And not to miss, that it was or in fact still not easy for me to come out of that state sometimes..But having said that,I knew deep inside that no one is gonna help me until & unless I will help myself..
Please correct me Neha,if I am wrong..As you have not mentioned your state of mind where you felt exactly when you needed the help of psychiatrist..I hope this would help your readers to work & move forward to take needeful actions, when required..
I am so glad you posted this question here Richa. And I am glad that you are aware too.
I finally met the doctor when I started feeling low and sad most of the time in the day and was very irritable too. I used to experience short breath at times due to my anxiety.
But the problem is that not everyone may have the same mental health issue, nor the same symptoms for an issue. This is why general awareness of all common issues is needed.
I have added two weblinks within the article for the symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Brilliant writing Neha, not just this article but others as well. Just wanted to share that the object of yoga / meditation is not to cure any disease etc but it is a sure shot way out of many ailments, including depression. However, its imp that its done with the right perspective and thus it becomes imperative who transmits and how it is imparted [I understand little bit of both yoga/meditation and depression, hence saying]
Thanks for sharing T. I do agree yoga is a very effective remedy. I guess the ones who do not find solace in yoga then are those not lucky enough to find the right teacher or the right perspective.
I would then insist that those people keep at it, may be try find the right teacher, but not turn their back to it for sure, even if do not fully imbibe it. There could be friction in head against yoga, as it may not inherently come to everyone, but thats ok, still keep at it. When done for some time, it will bring along the perspective (if not already there) which will further assist in taking a person away from depressive tendencies.
Sounds promising. Do share details here of yoga teachers you have had experience with, if possible. Also any particular schools of yoga that you subscribe to.
Well its a personal search and find, so best if a person searches and finds on his own rather than just recommendation. Schools are different in terms of physical establishment, names etc (ashtanga, patanjali, iyenger etc) but more importantly its the teacher, the student and the approach which are more relevant.
But if it helps, I did it with Isha Foundation (last four years) and have found them quite remarkable and exceptional. One may start with their ‘inner engineering’ course (one resident IE course just got over and they might come out with another in sometime). Its also conducted online but I would highly recommend doing it in person at their center in Coimbatore, and may be spend some time there. All details available on their website. Some hatha yoga courses are also conducted at their center but have to keep a watch. They also have certified hatha yoga teachers spread all across but none in Indore currently (I checked). Some of them offer small online programs (which can be done from anywhere) but main practices still can be done only in person. (Frequency of programs curtailed due to covid)
One last thing – I think the biggest mistake a person in depression makes is identify those depressive tendencies as himself/herself (ofcourse not a conscious mistake). But he/she is not that depression, but what is working within to come out of that. And in almost all cases, its that thing within which will eventually come out on top.
Thanks a ton T. Agree with depression not being the same as the person.
* Not exactly a mistake, but where he/she goes wrong
*transmitted, imparted as well as received
Absolutely! There shouldn’t be any stigma attached to mental illness. I’m sure you will come out of this stronger. More power to you!
Thank you Gunjan!
I read one of your article on Bar and Bench and directed to your blog here, by sharing your story publicly shows your caring towards others, Mental illness and disorders certainly have causes and they are often dealt with denial, Brain is a complex system of cells and nerves, any illness is caused by chemical imbalance and harmones disorder, problem is aggrieved if no professional help is available. Half of my active life I have some symptoms which indicates a mental condition if not a disorder, it took 5 to 6 years to consult a professional or even to discover cause of illness. Anxiety is the first symptom of mental problem and it is curable.
My Doctor told me to read a certain book named “Biology of Life” by Bruce Lipton. After reading that I discovered why mental problems happen.
Now I am not on any medicine after the lockdown and ended my treatment from my side, still have some issues but managing somehow.
My experience is that it’s the environment which is responsible for your physical and mental health, ignorance about mental health does not help sharing and caring does it for sure.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you for reading and sharing your own experience, Anupam. I agree ignorance about mental health does not help! Only talking about it does.