November has come and gone. You might have come across the phrase ‘No Shave November’ during the last month. I saw it while shopping on the internet. A brand selling men’s beard-grooming products had used it for an online advertisement. For those who are not aware of its background, ‘No Shave November’ is a campaign which began around the year 2009. Its goal is to grow awareness around cancer. Participants give a break to their hair removal routines for the month. They allow their body hair to grow free, and then donate the money saved, for the cause of cancer awareness and prevention.
Women and Hair Removal
The campaign is supposed to be gender neutral. Yet, I have never come across any instance of a woman participating in it. And this does not surprise me. The idea of women going about with hairy legs on display is repulsive to me too. But God knows how I wish it wasn’t so- either to me or anyone else! How I want to be able to take part in this campaign and not be afraid to wear short sleeves or cropped pants that month! There, I said it.
After all, who ‘looks forward’ to having body hair ripped off them every month? Never mind how much oil or chocolate the wax in question contains. (FYI, oil waxes ‘supposedly’ lessen the pain.) In fact, it amuses me when people recommend salon visits to me as ‘self-care steps’ whenever I feel depressed. I guess these people visualise me only getting facial massages as I rest in a supine position at the salon. They must not be taking into account that each such visit is accompanied by the burning of my skin with hot wax.
Should Women Be Tough Or Delicate?
It also amuses me to consider the reason I’m going through all this burn and pain. It is to justify the old moniker of ‘the fairer sex’ given to my tribe. Women as a group have always been expected to be the beautiful, delicate ones, while men are supposed to be tough. Yet, ironically, men have to endure the least amount of discomfort when it comes to grooming. The most your average men have to endure for grooming, on a regular basis, is shaving their faces. Shaving being the easier, rather pain-free technique of hair-removal. Even with that, men who don’t enjoy the routine have choices. They can choose to grow a moustache or a full-blown beard. We like the hairy or stubbly look on a man as much as a clean-shaven face! ‘No Shave November’ and beard-grooming product advertisements being cases in point.
In contrast, every girl has heard warnings about how shaving with a razor would lead to coarser hair growth later. And how those hair-removal creams have chemicals that leave armpits dark and pigmented. God forbid!
Also, I cannot recall a single advert that okays women with body hair other than on their heads. In fact, there are several ads to sell products to women, that remove or hide ‘unwanted’, ‘excess’ hair. (Which excess, by the way, is usually far less dense than on men.) These ads tell you how body hair on women is undesirable, whether the woman is at a party or a gym.
No wonder women endure the pain of waxing every month. We may have to toughen up on the inside to go through it, but hey, it does keep us looking smooth and delicate! And we so need to be delicate for always being desirable to our men!
Or do we?
Need for Hair Removal: Biology or Society?
Come to think of it. If nature did need women to go all smooth to be attractive to men, wouldn’t it already have phased body-hair out? Like it retired that useless tailbone in the course of evolution? It seems instead that nature has deemed meaningful the purpose served by body hair – that of protecting the human body. More meaningful for that matter than the cause of luring a man, even when the final goal is populating the planet.
So this ‘rule’ for women to be body-hair-free is nothing more than another social construct. Only, we are now so used to it that it appears almost natural. In reality, it is an imposition which serves no real purpose. Except, perhaps, sustaining the cosmetics industry which is based on it. But is the greatest economic goal also worth meddling with the self-esteem of women? Worth making them hate their natural bodies?
Or was that the very idea? To keep women engaged in the endless strife for approval, while patriarchy has a free reign? After all, if women were to give up on this strife, it will definitely save them a whole lot of time and energy.
Changing the Narrative
Giving up is not going to be very easy though. A great deal of shame and disgust has come to be associated with women carrying body hair. Much like menstruation. The conditioning goes deep too. In India, at least, the subject of body hair comes up within the first week of the female baby’s birth. And stays relevant till ‘old age’ sets in.
One approach could however be to ask men to ponder over this issue as well. To step into the woman’ shoes for a moment. In fact, it is not quite impossible to flip the entire narrative. Our world is changing fast. ‘Metrosexuals’ is already a thing. The time may not be too far when women may start demanding for men to be as smooth and stubble-free as them. How regularly then would men wax themselves? What with all that hair-inducing testosterone? Would they go for the oil wax over normal wax, for hair removal? Or would the idea of masculinity dictate otherwise?
Would they still think I am only splitting hairs?